Embarrassing anecdotes as of late.

1. This weekend I attended a dinner party hosted by a friend's friend whom I did not know very well. At the end of the night as I was putting on my coat/sweatshirt, she said to me "I really like your sweatshirt" and as she reached her hand toward the collar to point at my sweatshirt, I simultaneously moved my head down to look at the sweatshirt, thus accidentally forcing her thumb STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH. All the way to the back. "It's...it's...from Old Navy" I stammered (forgetting the words "H&M") and she replied softly "uh...sorry about that". Then I left, stupefied.

2. One of my colleagues recently received a prestigious journalism fellowship at Stanford. True to congratulatory fashion, a bunch of us gathered at a skyway lounge after work to toast to his success and bid him an early farewell. We do this every time someone leaves or something great happens, and every time my boss picks up the tab. So as everyone had finished their one drink, we stood up to leave and my boss grabbed for the check. "Thank you!" I said loudly to him. He replied, "I'm not paying for you - just for me." Everyone heard. So I said, "No I know, I'm just saying, thanks for paying first!" Then I left, stupefied.