Prince Charming Makes His Move
It is 11:00 on a sweltering Sunday morning. Neenuh is waiting at a bus stop to go downtown for her birthday massage. She has not bathed, and the heat is making her glow far more than usual. She is wearing an unremarkable gray cotton dress, as she is wont to do is such temperatures. There is a man nearby using a pressure hose to cleanse the sidewalk. Its noise is deafening. Nevertheless, another man approaches Neenuh and attempts to talk over it.
Prince Charming: HAVE YOU SEEN THE NO. 4 GO BY?
Neenuh: It went by a few minutes ago.
Prince Charming: WHAT?
Neenuh: IT WENT BY A FEW MINUTES AGO.
Prince Charming: THAT'S A CUTE DRESS.
Neenuh: Thanks.
Prince Charming: MY GIRLFRIEND HAS ONE IN THE SAME COLOR.
Neenuh: Oh.
Prince Charming: WHERE'D YOU GET IT?
Neenuh: San Diego.
Prince Charming: IS THAT WHERE YOU'RE FROM?
Neenuh: No.
Prince Charming: ARE YOU GOING TO WORK?
Neenuh: No.
Prince Charming: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Neenuh: Downtown.
Prince Charming: YOU GOT A MAN?
Neenuh: Yes.
Prince Charming: WELL IT'S STILL A CUTE DRESS.
Neenuh: Thanks.
The only other times I've been hit on by randos in Portland are when I've been gross and sweaty on my way home from the gym. Moral of the story: Portland men like their wimmins dirty.
Prince Charming: HAVE YOU SEEN THE NO. 4 GO BY?
Neenuh: It went by a few minutes ago.
Prince Charming: WHAT?
Neenuh: IT WENT BY A FEW MINUTES AGO.
Prince Charming: THAT'S A CUTE DRESS.
Neenuh: Thanks.
Prince Charming: MY GIRLFRIEND HAS ONE IN THE SAME COLOR.
Neenuh: Oh.
Prince Charming: WHERE'D YOU GET IT?
Neenuh: San Diego.
Prince Charming: IS THAT WHERE YOU'RE FROM?
Neenuh: No.
Prince Charming: ARE YOU GOING TO WORK?
Neenuh: No.
Prince Charming: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Neenuh: Downtown.
Prince Charming: YOU GOT A MAN?
Neenuh: Yes.
Prince Charming: WELL IT'S STILL A CUTE DRESS.
Neenuh: Thanks.
The only other times I've been hit on by randos in Portland are when I've been gross and sweaty on my way home from the gym. Moral of the story: Portland men like their wimmins dirty.
posted by Neenuh at
Monday, July 27, 2009
3 Comments:
Maybe you need some disarming protectorant to fend off these pesky mens? Something like "Men Off!" in spray or cream?
I like that he went out of his way to mention his girlfriend has the same dress, then two seconds later asks if you're taken. Smooth.
This reminds me of the old Sade song: "Smooth Operator".
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