My first commentary!

Last week, the host of the show I work on was out of town so another producer and I took the show hostage and made it ourselves. The theme is "Living without...".

I put together an audio commentary on this theme, sitting cross-legged on my apartment floor. It appears in the podcast at 15:30. If you're eyeballing the play bar, that means you can hear it at a shade earlier than the halfway point. Enjoy!

(Plus, you'll get to hear me talk about taking my pants off. So. You're welc.)

Tea parties and shower curtains.

You know how much I love my new apartment. To show it off a few weeks ago I held a tea party for five of my lady friends. Please feast your eyes on these delectables:


After we ate but before we watched "Drop Dead Gorgeous" - a Minnesota staple - we perused (and I do mean the correct definition of peruse, which is to examine or consider with attention and in detail) these inappropriate naked man cards circa 1982 that I snatched at a recent clothing swap.


I have to admit though, there is something incredibly weird about my apartment that I have been holding back from you. I have very odd-shaped ceilings that even affect the way my shower is laid out. Since I'm on the top floor of my house, enormous chunks of my ceilings are taken out, thus resulting in this disaster of a shower rod:

I crafted an elaborate clip system to keep the bottom of the curtain in check. I think you'll be impressed with my precision and ingenuity. Observe.

So the house of sunshine has a few quirks, including having no kitchen storage space. But no matter - I store the cleaning supplies in the bathroom and I hang my pots on the wall. I'm like a modern day Boxcard Kid.

Plus, allow me to introduce you to my two new roomies, Mark and Bedilia.

Welcome to the House of Sunshine.

Listen. Listen to me! I moved. Into. A NEW APARTMENT.

Neens, I will try to be sensitive about your current debacle. But having been one of your besties for a good, oh, twenty to thirty years now, I know that not many can rival your insatiable Craiglist-scouring abilities. You, dearest wyfe, are an apartment-finding, web-searching, insta-emailing, house-touring force to be reckoned with.

But seriously. My first ever one-bedroom apartment is the sunniest, happiest place on earth.

You walk in and oh, you find yourself in a dainty little kitchen! There is a fridge displaying The Current magnets, a family Christmas photo, a recipe or two scattered about and a card that sings wishes of praise from an adoring gentleman caller. There is a sink, rarely donned with dirty dishes, and a perfectly sanitary covered garbage bin underneath. The drawers house kitchen supplies and neatly organized Tupperware (each piece complete with lid for ease of use).

Take a couple steps further and oh, you're in the dining/living room! There is a round wooden table for you to daintily sit or eat at (choice of four matching chairs) or a large green couch for you to rest your weary bones on. Perhaps you are too tired to read but not yet sleepy enough to retire for the evening. No problem - would you like to watch a movie? Open the top drawer of the dresser the TV is resting on and you shall find yourself a plethora of cinematic options. And of course, a swift look to your right will show you reading nook #1. Yes, you saw right, that chair nestled into the window nook is accompanied by its own book shelf, in case you wish to be reading but have reluctantly forgotten a book.

Ok we've spent enough time dilly dallying. Let's get down to business. Walk past the kitchen through the entryway and - gasp! - what is that you see? A bedroom! Look past the gigantic cloud bed on your left and you shall see an enormous built-in drawer system with so many drawers that you literally have two empty drawers that are just waiting for you to toss your crap into. And then, I know this will make your eyes a little misty, look to your right and you will see reading nook #2. Yes, that is a built-in actual nook! Made of wood, covered in cushions and blankets. Complete with backrest. It's an actual nook, made for actual reading, in an actual window. Believe it.

Now let us take a walk into the next room and you will find yourself a delightfully pristine bathroom, complete with a large shower whose stream reaches far beyond the width of your shoulders and starts high above even the tallest of humans. As you let the duck bath mat tickle your toesies, take a look at convenient full-length mirror on the wall, notice the stealthy cabinet mirror system, delight in the ceramic giraffe toothbrush holder, and gasp at the storage space in three corners of the bathroom allowing you to shelve three tiers of bathroom supplies, socks and undies, and even the vacuum cleaner for cripes sakes.

And there you have it. A walk through my House of Sunshine. I'm so happy you could take my tour on this, the second week of my living there. Come again, sire! Come again, m'lady!

Good day to you.