Blind dates are for two.

The thing about setting your friends up on a blind date is…you probably shouldn’t go with.

I have this newly-single, wonderful guy friend. I also have a single and fabulously awesome girl friend. They are both starting to peek their heads into the dating world, but aren’t the type of people that are going to try to pick someone up in a bar. So I decided to throw a pizza party.

And by pizza party I mean the three of us went on a date. Those two, some pizza, a restaurant, and me. Looking back, I shudder at the awkwardness.

The guy and I got there first and I was disappointed to find that the only open table inside of the place shot high-powered beams of sunlight straight into the faces of those facing the window. Unfortunately, the guy decided to sit with his back facing the sun, so that left the poor girl with the decision of whether to wear sunglasses during the dinner, or sweat and squint profusely. She chose the latter.

I sat next to her and started the date off talking about a hilariously entertaining scavenger hunt I had gone on that weekend. We laughed, we ate, there were smiles all around.

But after a few conversation misunderstandings and a clear divide over favored parts of the country, it began to be pretty apparent that the pizza and I had more chemistry than the two of them did. Man was that good pizza.

Many people told me not to go along. But I though it would be less pressure on both of them if it was more of a friend thing. I didn’t realize that my presence there would turn me more into a talk show host than anything else. “So, did you know that Suzie is really into [blank]?” “Well, that’s so funny because Mark was just telling me [blank] the other day…”

It doesn’t help. It does not help to have you there. In no way does it help. I repeat…It did not help to have me there. Don’t do it! Don’t! Resist! Leave them be! Leave the awkward to them!

They can handle it.