Is my niece or nephew going to love me?
I just found out my sister has caught the preggers disease. And by disease I mean...the best thing that's ever happened to me! I happen to think I was born to be an aunt, and I'm under the impression that the thing is going to love me because, let's face it, I'm everything it could ever hope for in a future aunt.
Think about it. I'm young, relatively hip (and by relatively I mean hipper than the little blob of goo is right now), energetic, I have a gaggle of knock knock jokes just waiting to be shared, I always have a fresh supply of candy, I know CPR, I will give it toys, and I like crawling around on the floor. I mean c'mon!
I was bragging about the little tyke (who is currently cooking in the oven, where he/she will remain for the next 6+ months) to my coworker, and he advised me to explore caution in my anticipation and to try to keep my hopes for my relationship with the thing at a limit (because frankly those hopes are soaring right now -- SOARING).
He said:
Is my future niece or nephew going to be a bragging prick for the next 8.5 years? Possibly. Perhaps even likely. I hadn't thought of this. Plus, what if it voms on me? What if it sits on my glasses? What if it slaps the dog? What if it steals my sister away for forever and I'm not her favorite* anymore?! Oh god.
*self-proclaimed
Think about it. I'm young, relatively hip (and by relatively I mean hipper than the little blob of goo is right now), energetic, I have a gaggle of knock knock jokes just waiting to be shared, I always have a fresh supply of candy, I know CPR, I will give it toys, and I like crawling around on the floor. I mean c'mon!
I was bragging about the little tyke (who is currently cooking in the oven, where he/she will remain for the next 6+ months) to my coworker, and he advised me to explore caution in my anticipation and to try to keep my hopes for my relationship with the thing at a limit (because frankly those hopes are soaring right now -- SOARING).
He said:
Careful. I was really excited about the arrival of my first nephew. Let's be real, I was born to be an Uncle. I'm mischievous, cool and I already had twenty some years experience battling his mother so advocating on his behalf would be a cinch. The problem? For like 8 years we totally didn't like each other. Frankly, he was a bit of a prick and that didn't sit well with me. Also, he's a bit of a braggart. I'm not sure what happened though, last summer we were both in Croatia and we kind of got along.
Is my future niece or nephew going to be a bragging prick for the next 8.5 years? Possibly. Perhaps even likely. I hadn't thought of this. Plus, what if it voms on me? What if it sits on my glasses? What if it slaps the dog? What if it steals my sister away for forever and I'm not her favorite* anymore?! Oh god.
*self-proclaimed
posted by Anna W. at
Thursday, December 04, 2008
4 Comments:
Braggart. Such a great word. So underused.
If you need tips on how to be a great aunt look no further than WAP, who sends us boxes of presents for birthdays, holidays and for no good reason. I think present rate has a direct correlation with aunt love.
Also, WAP just got engaged! Yay, life cycle events!
I love that you called it "it."
If it voms on you, then it will clearly be a relative that cannot be trusted. Otherwise, I think you'll be the cool aunt.
I want to be an aunt. I keep telling my sister to produce a bastard child for my own selfish purposes. Currently unsuccessful, but my powers of persuasion are great...
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